Self Help Anxiety Books

Wow. This was about so much more than shyness–but I guess they’re all connected.

Thanks for this clip.

thank you so much. I feel so fortunate to see this useful one.

In terms of shyness, I think I’ve been working out well; I’ve been forcefully thrusting myself into any opportunity I come across to have a conversation. If I’m rejected, I don’t really stress it. If I’m not rejected (which is the case with most of the people I approach), I end up having short, but meaningful conversations. That said, I still do feel mighty uncomfortable when my friends take me to dance parties or clubs.

tomorrow, i’m going to force myself to talk to someone and smile. thank you for the encouragement!!

Loool approach woman is this guys answer i lovee this dude hahaa

I had a revelationary moment when I was forced in my job to approach people to sell them something. But of course, they kept saying no, not interested… but I felt pretty good, ok they don’t want one, move on to the next one

I have that thing about rejection. If a person does not respond well to what ever I have to say. I get upset about it, which I shouldn’t … I don’t have to make everyone happy, not everything has to go well.

It is not true that if you approach someone and it goes well that they will definitely approach you. There is no guarantee that if you approach they will reciprocate. Sometimes people with be unfriendly, and be prepared for that, too. You did just fine. Eventually, people might approach you. But even if they don’t, it is not necessary! If you persist, then you might make friends and that will be fine. Again, it is hardly a must to feel you are worthwhile or to be happy in life. Keep it up!

I tried to appraoch many people at school, a few times each. but they show no interest in approaching me later? all ive done, was go up to them while we were waiting outside class(and didnt interrupt any conversation), said hi and smiled, and asked a question/statement.and they were friendly when i talked to them.

did i do something wrong? because usually, i hear, that if you approach someone and if it goes well then they will approach you too sometime.

You are the man! Thanks for sharing this information. Incredibly useful!

@jguterman Dr. Guterman, Thank you. Thank you very, VERY much. Your advice is great. Your reasoning makes perfect sense, Dr. I can’t thank you enough. This is GREAT stuff! It’s logical, straightforward and helpful. You — only you — gave me hope. Bravo! You saved my life by instilling hope in me through logical advice. You, sir, are a wise, wise man.

I wish I had seen this years ago…

Most helpful overcoming shyness video I’ve seen so far.

this is great

I really enjoyed this video. Thank you Dr. Guterman….This really helped to put things in perspective in relation to my shyness problem.

I’ll take your advice. I shouldn’t give a crap what people think!

I have found if you can enter a situation expecting to be accepted, then people generally will. Easier said than done though!

Ellis used to say, “Rejection means something about the rejector because they have something in their head about you such as your too tall or too short or too brown-eyed or too blue-eyed, whatever the hell it is, but you’re thinking it means something about you.” The same holds true about acceptance; it means something about the acceptor, that they have an idea in their head, that you have some arbitrary worth to them.

thanks so much for this video, I was having a really bad day anxiety-wise but after recalling what you said in this video, my day really turned around. I especially liked the quote you used “beauty is in the eye of the beholder”. i had never really thought like that in social situations before. I tried to approach as many of my classmates as possible and talk to them and it felt good. Thank you so much

wow nice office

you must be a very smart human being. i would like to thank you for everything you have contributed to society. thank you

you hit on the points exactly, I also have the problem. Like among friends that im familiar with, I am like the life of the party but when its newer people i just met at school or something i cant really relate and pick up with how they talk with their group. I really need help on basically communicating with new groups and also a little more confidence in talking to girls. Like im not trying to modest or anything, but I am a pretty good looking guy…all I need is confidence.

excellent video, thanks

I’ve been shy all my life but I have forced myself to try not to be. It has worked only halfway. I like the things this Dr. says about us “demanding” to be accepted. Maybe this will help me achieve the other half.

I don’t have a problem starting and carrying on a conversation with someone (especially strangers) so long as it’s an individual but not a group… but I find it impossible to visit other people in their homes or let others come to mine (especially if I know there will be other people there) and for that matter I don’t even want to visit others or have them come to mine (it seems like a “waste of time”, “pain in the butt” and whatever) but in my country it’s like a social must…